It’s not super-surprising that this makes us feel even worse. We might think, ‘I should be happy all the time’, or ‘If I’m sad, something’s wrong with me’. Sometimes you can make it worse by judging yourself for feeling these emotions. It’s normal to feel all the feels (grief, sadness, anger, anxiety) when you’re faced with stress. ‘I just had the thought that I’m not good enough’ is less upsetting and more truthful than the thought itself.ģ. You can even try reframing them with ‘I just had the thought that…’ beforehand. Writing these thoughts down acknowledges that they are simply thoughts. We’ve all been there, thinking stuff like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m going to end up living with my cats’. When you’re going through a break-up, it might feel like your heart is actually breaking in two. This can help you to realise that your thoughts aren’t you, and to accept them for what they are: just thoughts. Then read them back as if someone else had written them. Try writing down the words that are going through your head, especially when you’re in a tough situation. By accepting that thoughts aren’t facts, they lose some of their power to upset us. Thoughts may come into your head for a whole bunch of reasons. It’s important to understand that we are not our thoughts. Once you’re thinking these things about yourself, it’s easy to think even more negative thoughts and to focus on all the bad stuff. These might be things like ‘I always say the wrong thing’, or ‘I suck at this’. Stress can make us think negative thoughts about ourselves. What would you tell them to help them out? Would you judge them or accept them? If you’d accept them, try using that acceptance on yourself and treat yourself as your own good friend. We can judge ourselves super-harshly in ways we would never judge a friend.Ī more helpful response is to try giving yourself the advice you might give a friend. But sometimes we get so caught up in being upset, we lose sight of the actual situation. It’s normal to be upset if you don’t score that job you’ve applied for. Imagine what a role model or admired friend would do in the same situation Think about something you’ve been struggling with, and give these three tips a go to see if you can come to accept it.ġ. One thing’s for sure, acceptance ain’t easy. If you can manage to accept that this is what’s happening right now, your mind can focus on what you can do to make things better. The thing is, if you refuse to accept these things and stay angry, it can just lead to more hurt and upset.
It’s normal to feel sad, angry and srsly pissed off. Things can happen that are totally out of your control – whether it’s a relationship break-up, the drought or the death of someone you’re close to. It’s the same when you’re going through a hard time in life. You know you’re not responsible for their actions, and you defs can’t control them, so when they do things you don’t agree with, you mostly just get over it. You accept your friends for who they are. Instead of seeing ourselves as victims or our situation as negative, acceptance makes us feel empowered about the things we can do.Īccepting something that’s shitty doesn’t mean you’re giving it a big thumbs-up. It turns out, though, that a more helpful way to cope with things that are out of our control is to practise acceptance. When you’re going through a tough time and everything seems out of your control, you might feel like screaming in your car, or be wondering what you did to deserve this, or thinking that it will never get better… any of this sound familiar?
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